WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—House Republicans sheepishly withdrew their plan to impeach Joe Biden on Friday after belatedly realizing it would make Kamala Harris president sooner. At a subdued press conference, Reps. Jim Jordan and James Comer blamed the botched impeachment effort on “a big mix-up.” “I thought Jim was going to read the Constitution to see what it said about impeachment, and Jim thought I was going to do it,” Comer said. “In the end, neither of us did.” Unbowed, Jordan said it was now time for him and Comer to “buckle down” and read the 4,400-word document. “We want to be ready to impeach Kamala Harris the day she is sworn in as president,” Jordan said, “if not sooner.” |